Lesson: Editing

The Paramedic Method

1. Circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto, into)

2. Draw a box around the "is" verb forms

3. Ask, "Where's the action?"

4. Change the "action" into a simple verb

5. Move the doer into the subject (Who's kicking whom?)

6. Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups

7. Eliminate any redundancies.

Sample draft:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BhDJ-E-atm0D7c1CIVOSytQneYSJA533EOgphD8cMhc/edit?usp=sharing

Draft Workshop: Style

Name:
2/20/13

1. All of your drafts are probably aiming for a middle style. Go through your partner's draft and highlight any words, sentences, or passages in which you think the essay deviates from a middle style (either by being too formal or too informal). If you have time, suggest ways in which the author might revise these sections in order to achieve a more appropriate tone for the assignment.

2. Since writing in the middle style is targeted at a fairly wide audience, unfamiliar terms and concepts need to be defined. Examine the essay and point out any terms that aren't defined that probably should be. For the terms that are defined, are these definitions clear and concise? Does the reader understand everything s/he needs to in order to understand the author's point?

3. Another aspect of the middle style is that it employs concrete nouns (rather than abstract nouns) and action verbs (rather than "to be" verbs). In general, does this essay feel concrete (that is, grounded in things you can see and touch) or abstract (that is, in the world of ideas) to you? Do you think the essay's level of abstraction is appropriate given the audience and the topic? Point out any specific passages in which you think the paper gets too abstract. If you have trouble locating these passages, try searching for "to be" verbs; they often cluster around these types of passages.

4. Did you notice any examples of contentious terms or insensitive language in the draft? If so, point them out and suggest how the writer might replace this with more sensitive language.

Draft Workshop: Organizational Concerns

Name:
2/18/12

1. In what order does the author present his or her supporting evidence (e.g. chronological, process order, cause-and-effect, etc.)? Is this the most appropriate order given the audience's level of understanding? Suggest at least one alternative way in which the essay might be organized.

2. Is there a sense of balance to my essay? Do I spend too long on any single point, or do I seem to rush through important parts? Does any section feel either redundant or underdeveloped?

3. Does each paragraph have a clear topic sentence? Does each topic sentence relate clearly back to the thesis? Does each paragraph deal with one idea and one idea only? Point out any points in the essay at which the paragraphing seems weak or confusing.

4. Does the essay have transitions that move the reader clearly from idea to the next? Does the writer make the relationship between the ideas clear with words that emphasize the essay's organization scheme (e.g. time-related words of the essay is organized chronologically, etc.)?

5. Does each paragraph fully explain its main idea? Do any paragraphs feel thin or under-developed? Point them out.

Draft Workshop: Retrospective Outline

Compose a retrospective outline of your partner's paper. Examine the outline for coherence, repetition, overall logic and transitions, and whether you answered the prompt. Write your notes and/or suggestions below the outline.

Second, assess whether the author's primary focus at this point should be conceptual concerns, organizational concerns, or surface-level concerns. Explain your answer with evidence from the draft.

Draft Workshop: Intro and Thesis Statement

Name:
Date:

1. Summarize, as briefly as possible, the author's main claim. Is it substantive? Could another person reasonably challenge or oppose it?

2. Which of the categories we talked about on Tuesday does the author's introduction fit into? Is it one of the more effective or less effective introductions? If it is one of the less effective introductions, suggest ways that the author might use one of the more effective introduction strategies.

3. A strong introduction should be concise; it should use one of the effective introduction strategies, then transition as quickly as possible to the thesis statement. Are there any sentences in the draft that are extraneous? Could the line between the introduction and the thesis statement be any straighter? If necessary, copy and paste the introduction paragraph below, deleting any sentences you find extraneous.

4. Scan the draft for any sentences that seem wordy or difficult to understand. Paste these sentences below and attempt to revise them, trying your best to use simple sentence forms in which a subject, strong action verb, and direct object come in that order.

5. Compose a list of TWO things that the author should do to improve his or her draft.

Intro to Draft Workshops

Read through the following draft:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IWWW1IZcjfHSAIKnodo1FGaNmlANp2oj-GydgpryrV0/edit

Next, discuss your answers to the following questions aloud in your groups. You do not need to write down your answers.

1. Summarize, as briefly as possible, the author's main claim. Is it substantive? Could another person reasonably challenge or oppose it?

2. Which of the categories we talked about on Tuesday does the author's introduction fit into? Is it one of the more effective or less effective introductions? If it is one of the less effective introductions, suggest ways that the author might use one of the more effective introduction strategies.

3. A strong introduction should be concise; it should use one of the effective introduction strategies, then transition as quickly as possible to the thesis statement. Are there any sentences in the draft that are extraneous? Could the line between the introduction and the thesis statement be any straighter? If necessary, copy and paste the introduction paragraph below, deleting any sentences you find extraneous.

4. Scan the draft for any sentences that seem wordy or difficult to understand. Paste these sentences below and attempt to revise them, trying your best to use simple sentence forms in which a subject, strong action verb, and direct object come in that order.

5. Compose a list of TWO things that the author should do to improve his or her draft.

Activity: Appeals

Read the following article from slate.com:

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2010/09/the_privilege_of_prejudice.single.html

This article contains appeals of all three types: ethos, pathos, and logos. Work in your groups to identity at least one of each type of appeal in the article. Which of these appeals is most persuasive to you? Why do you think that is the case? In which order does the author present these appeals? Why do you think he chose that order?

Thesis Statements Activity

Read the following article:

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2010/09/the_privilege_of_prejudice.single.html

Work together with your group members to paraphrase a strong thesis statement for this article. Your thesis statement should do each of the three things a good thesis statement should do.

Lesson: Citation Conventions

Go to the library's tutorial on citations and read the "Introduction" and "Why We Cite" sections:

http://www.lib.unc.edu/instruct/citations/index.html?page=why

STOP WHEN YOU GET TO SECTION ON APA

Good citations accomplish the following goals:

• They allow you to show how your argument is built upon the ideas of others. 
• They allow you to indicate which ideas are taken from others, and from whom those ideas were taken; in other words, to give credit where it's due. 
• They allow the interested reader to follow your argument and confirm its logic by investigating the ideas on which the argument is built, or to further explore those ideas on their own.

Activity: Your Blog's Citation Conventions

Using the formal APA, MLA, and Chicago styles (refer to the relevant sections on the Library's Citation Tutorial (http://www.lib.unc.edu/instruct/citations/) for details), work with your group members to draft a rationale for how and why you will cite your sources on your blog. Compose a short, 2-3 paragraph essay that explains:

1. Why your group thinks that citing sources is important.

2. How citations will be implemented on your blog. This should take the form of a rough style guide like this one for MLA format: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/06/. You need only explain the format for the types of references you anticipate using most on your blog.

3. A short rationale for how and why you chose the citation style you agreed upon.

Post this essay to your blog by class time on Wednesday, February 6.